Milty Goes to Connecticut

Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Feb 16 2012

74 Days

Seventy-four days and my teaching career will be over. Out of the 1186 days that have already passed, it is but a wisp. About 740 hours left out of the approximately 10,000 hours that I will put in total.

I haven’t decided how I feel. It’s almost like knowing which day you are going to die. Maybe more like knowing on which day you will be born.

My ambition is throwing a party right now. Totally rejoicing that law school can be my “job.” After dividing my attention every which way – with part-time jobs and summer jobs and certification classes – it will be a relief to focus entirely on one thing. I can get good at something. As insulted as I am that more effort is not being made to get me to stay, I am also delighted that the decision has been made for me. Once again, all educational roads lead to budgets.

My conscience is guilt-ridden, though. I feel bad for leaving my kids, and I feel bad for not feeling as bad as I should. I told someone recently that only 10% of my problems are about my feelings; the other 90% about my feelings about ┬ámy feelings. It’s like meta-emotion: feelings about feelings. And what a ridiculous waste of brain power that is.

I’ll probably come to some conclusion or make peace with all of this soon – in about 73 days.

2 Responses

  1. els

    ohmygosh congrats on almost being done! Just enjoy the time you have left with your kids!

  2. Kurt (Community Manager)

    Congratulations! Your post has been featured on the Teach For Us homepage.

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Charmingly (maybe) Existential (possible) Musings (read: rants) on My TFA Tenure

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